Tuesday, December 26, 2006
boxing day. xmas visited oce again. looks like i aint travelin this hols.. life has become really complicated.. i feel that findin the words to describe anything can be really difficult. to relate something may never be fully possible. but we all try anyway.
maybe its best to just keep things bottled up. that way we can be less mechanized.
be gracious to me. i feel annoyed i ve kinda given up hope. on ppl. i really dun expect anymore. more tahn ath else i feel used. everyonewants themselves to be heard understood..and let me add... entertained.
i dun complain there is alot to do. i just wish there was a purpose.. like a man who stares in the mirror.. he finds no meanin other thn his reflection..which looks as confused.
portraying capability is sthi do.
the nect part to it really depends.
gatherings can end up pretty dry with not muxch to say to each other. ppl are either too similar or too diferent to start with. ironically bithare bad.. silence can be really awful. and cold.. tho most of the time its stil ldesirable.
sometimes it can feel like nth werks at all..
marriages aget draggy.. everything ends. everyone departs and everyone gets hurt.
love turns t ofunction and funcction is what we do best. tantamountin expectations kill eventuali.
waitin to transfer photos.. internet is takin foreva.. comittees to answer to= one too many.. responsibilities.. trg unstarted..
gatherings are pretty tirin but stayin alone is liek tryin to borea srew thru ur head at times. work is monotonous as well..
well its xmas so its time to get things in sight
next yr.. impt year. determine whether will get retain or not.. must study darn hard. but the key is to rmb to be interested.. the stuff i learn is very interestin.. thats how i get thru sc hyearly
to keep savin up and working
to acheieve other goals tjat will make me different fro mthe rest ..keep up the trgs
to take up drivin..
next yr the guys will ord... there will be homecomin..
i hope to travel ultimately.
my resoln next yr .. really is to be happy.. to do things that iwant to do and not to please thers all teh time.. seems almost imposssible.
i hope to be more stable to onext yr.
and i hope .. i l lmake the right decisions. when the time comes. yeah
i want to many things to go my way. i want pp to love me but i dun wanna return the same. i wish home wasnt a war zone all the time but i know i do little to reconcile anyway. i knwo i want to send mroe tiem with frns and get to knwo more people but i jsut want to be alone most of the time. i wished i could exlain alot more things cos i see problems everywhere i go that begs soln. btu i have none. i wish t oeducate but i must realise that not everyone needs the same education.
the kiss of I would understand. at