Wednesday, November 08, 2006
i guessi m blogging cos i du n want the site to die.. hais but i really dun have the time . time now is 0345.. man.. any moment it be sweetest dream in england ha.. sigh it be rise and shine for me, well rise no shine..
CAs are ard the corner man. i know i know.. man i hear the voices.. "why are u so mug? wah lau its oni firs tca.. wah lau relax la.. why are u muggin like nocturnal.." hais but i guess i jsut have to say i know myself better.. i have really short attn span.. i have alot of activiites and i know that i have not studied and covered a lot and thats y.. istay up alte.. its funny how human beings feel the need to accountable to strangers at times.. btu nevertheless.. iwish i could tell ppl str.. hey i need to study! i really ahve not studied as much as i liekd to.. (socially delusional)
bleagh.. i thk i m goi nnuts.. but i m still i n the drama highness..
yeah playhse went not bad.. was a relief really.. i hear aloto f compliments from the senior batches esp on how there re are talents i n our batch esp actin talents.. yeah its gd to hear.. i would love to do it agn i guess.. but hopefeulli not a u know stage atwo day play thing..
i dun thk i sound very coherent these days.. i dun thk i can carry out a conversation without leavin ppl in the lurch.. u know ppl go Huh everytime i tell them sth.. maybe its cos of the lack of sleep.. i thk i cant put up proper converations alr.. and i m quite irritable.. maski everything with a fake sense of humour isnt gonan last long...
sigh so much more to cover.. basicall everythng minus head and neck..hmm
well at least trg is more or less comin to a halt.. btu of cos cant afford to rest completely.. sigh..
anw i feel really fortunate to be surrounded by so mnay frens.. and esp fortunate..i mean it really makes my day wehn i receive smses from the old guy frens .. ha yeah not that old.. the facct that they are in army and ve no idea wad life is like to mug til l3 plus every night/day haha btu yeah it means a lot when i get a msg fro mthem.. thanks so much guys..
yeah and my juniors as well..even tho they are strugglin with As this yr..and struggli to get into med haha.. oh man how ironic..
the neighbour have kids rangin fro p sch to all levels of kindergarden..everyone wants to go raffles.. ri rj then loo lin... sigh.. its sucha ..i dunno man kids.. u re gonna lose ur childhood if u compare with the girl that has better grades livin on the ninth floor for instance..
yeah i was listenin to two mothers comaprin their children;s results.. it goes like this" oh my son this time very bad.. the class got ten full amrks and he oni scored 95 out of hundred.. very careless lor" sigh the boy is oni p3 man.. relax.. u wun die..
the whole world doesnt ve to get into an ip prog/ become a geper.. get int oloo lin..snatch that schoalrship..sigh.. jsut becos utr neighbour has a son in med doesnt mean .. i dunno.. my mum gets asked a lot.. " wahh.. so gd got a son in med.. howu do it ah.. what he eat..how he study?" that kinda thing..
sigh ppl ppl.. things come naturally.. (altho its easy for me to say now,, i fondly er hmm recall the nights when i struggled with stack of notes books and exam papers) but still parents.. must knwo that their role really its not to stresso ver their children;s future..not int this sense at leas.t. .give them foodshelther support lots of love adn encouragement.. wadeva they do man..parents dun compare! parents! dun make results the major thing i nlife. sch is supposed to be part of the child;s life.. this small part.. not life itself..
parents.. du ncompare ur kids with thier frens their siblings.. their wadeva.. u knwo. du nput them down all the time..
i du nwant to talk abt myself bUT.. i was compared to neighbour children, to my classmates to so mnay ppl.. mroet han i can rmb..adn it felt bad.. everytine i studied everythiNg i did for a while was to make sure i was beter than someoen else.. and then i always see someone in front. someone i cant overtake..and its a sucky cycle to be in..cmon parents..parenst ..look at urselves.. do u thk if u do the psle now. .u will getwad...280++ oh parents.. do u thk u can do o levels now..
oh parents.. cmon..its a harsh fact but ur child possibly will oni be aas gd as u..aas the sayin go ITS IN THE GENES.. yeah u can stretch it. ucan push them..u can make the mmotivted,give themall the education.. upport fnancial backin..but at the end of teh day parents.. ode to u.. u have to accept that ur child is never goin to be.. micheal jordan..
i feel depressed wen my mum tells me abt how the parents of kids she teach discuss their children.
how children hate tehir siblings..how older siblings look down on younger ones who cant rise up.. how parent dotes on the child that produce more results..
and often..oarents are blind. .they cant see htat they are favourin a child more say subconsciously..TO another jsut becos u thk that child "deserves" more love and praises for doin oh so well
i have nice parents..but stil li growin up being compared.. feelin afraid of everyone ..afraid of losing every day of my life. its not a nice feelin..and its sth u cannot free urself frm..u thk the world wun accept u if iu slip and fail..
and uwill.
and u can grow up hatin a parent for ur lives..that no matter what u necome..ihow e cahnges.. the scar is too great to heal..
and worse of all parents may never understand or see where they have gone wrong.. they have this shield which says.. hey but i gave them all the support.. I SLOGGED like mad for them..
but the child may never think so...
and when he goes mad ..does crime.. he can feel elevated.
i worry alot for the future generation.
the thoughts expressed and incoherent.. till i get my thoraic relationsi n order its unlikely the author can produce anything sane
the kiss of I would understand. at