Monday, July 10, 2006
end of me.
i feel drained. i see my nails scratching the ground. as if the ywere sinkin in. i think i have a lot to say in this entry that may upset a lot of ppl. i thin ki need to get a private blog alr.
i feel miserable today. honestly i dun fee lvery high after encounter if nto a bit lower. spiritually.
but well. lets push those thts aside. i m good at pushin everything aside. i went running today. despite my terrible legs.. my legs are so gone..play pool oso feel the pain..take train oso feel weird.. right i have a specialist appointment in october.. screw it.
yeah primal injuries are aggravated by the slightest touch if u harbour them. its been a week wehre bookin in is the last thing on my own. btu still..anw i was sorta extorted money from today. bleh. ok lets go i norder of the events that has been makin me miserable..
1) right thsi tatooed person came u pt o mi and seei n4 bucks in my hands he asked me to give it to him.. ieman iif u ask nicely with pls and thankyou and looka t least abit pathetic i would give in.. (igave i nanw) but he was demandin it anw..d was right i did think he was a drug addict. it was the first tht that cross my mind..but he sorta corner me.. nto that i was scared la.. cmon i could take teh bugger..its not just icct or wad..i could oso out run him defn..but i didnt want to create a scene and honestly i could half emphatise with him.. i mean i have been in such situation too i had ask pp lo nthe road for money and have been given generously..ok cos i have some manenrs i guess.. but that bugger didnt..he was jsut give me 4 bucks.. and i was liek i na dilemma.. i traded the ezlink card that followed me for 10 yrs for 4 bucks and now i m gonna give u the money in my hands which i held for less than a min! crap leh..stupid amk station the ticketi nbooth is like at the corner..bleh but i jsut gave him al.. i dunno why oso.. i was too tired and thirsty to think of anything else.. i hope he doesnt get itn otrouble.. wil lpray for him.. sheesh.
2) i wanan stay in hostel! so damn unfair.. MINDEF is the worst organization la.. so bloody inefficient ..so much for a wayang ndp .. see la..took so long to defer the med students.. now we cant even apply for hostel by the time we were defer for ewhich was last week the applications for hostel were clsoed and its not jsut for hostel..we didnt get so muc hinfo cos nus didnt know if we be deferin..no freshmen guide no nth..no nth at all.. some ns guys claim to be pissin in their knickers btu i m jsut pissed. its the first tiem liddat leh.. last time the med guys disrupted early and had time to settle al lthe admin stuff.. u kmwo how much friggi tiem i wasted in army ..for nth.. i wondered what i ve done in the last months leh.. honestly.. wad ve i doen water parade water parade.. wad crap la..everyday so mindless..starin int obunk cleanin the big drain..quenin up for food that i dun wanna eat.. wasted so much MICH time..when i coudl have easily made a lot more money outside enriched myself.. and accomplish a million mroe meaningful things..
the reaso ny i m so pissed is cos i have been travelin to and fro nus the last few days and my bus fare needs to be topped up so quickly.. its really long journeys..leh and everytime i go down to settle stuff its like less than five mins.. i couldn t take my booster today cos i had flu.. bleh..wad a waste of time! it would really help if i had somewhere to stay in nus.. grr.
3) i fee friggin grr alr..sch is starti ntoon.. i got a lot of commitments now lehj.. a lto of jobs.. but havent received any pay yet.. 4 students and one agency..agency is aski ne to be a staff there a teachin staff..chemistry..hmm i dunno.. i wil lwanan keep ajob when i study..btu which one.. i dunno everyone is speaki nso fast on the phone..and barely have time..to sit down.. and when i werk i jsut lose track of TIME and my meals..grr i need t ochoose..
4) well done.. i m totally angry and have lost my patience all over agn..so much for anger management.
5) i want to know the answer and wad to do!
i feel drained and dry.
hq bdae..oh today;s is hq's bday..haha happy bday.
admist an irritated nick.
the kiss of I would understand. at