Onaji sora shita

u see the choir photos? yeah there are pinkies ard. whic hremind me of the geek in pink song by mr mraz.. haha.

Yo, Brotha A to z,
Yo, wussup B,
Yo, What time is it?
Ha-ha, It's laundry day!

(do do do...)
Well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
If you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat fulla rhymes
Pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it
Isn't it delicious crazy way that I'm kissin'
This baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
Sometimes you gotta fit in to get in
But don't ever quit cause soon I'm gonna let you in but see
I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
Well,I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget what you already know
I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
Like the geek in the pink (do do do...)
Like the geek in the pink, yeah (do do do...)
The geek in the pink
Well my relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
But Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
Because she fall in love too often that's what the matter
At least I'm talkin' about it keep a pattern of flattery and
She was starin' through the doorframe,and
Eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend
Well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
Cause I ain't comin' home I don't need that attention, see
I don't care what she might think about me
She'll get by without me if she wants
Well, I could be the one to take her home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
That I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
Hey baby look at me go
From zero to hero
You better take it from a geek like me
Well I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums
Who wouldn't care if you com...plete him or not
So what I've got a short attention span
A coke in my hand
Because I'd rather have the afternoon, relaxin' understand
My hip hop and flip-flops well it don't stop with the light rock
My shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot
The hype is nothing more than hoo-ha so I'm
Developing a language and I'm callin' it my own
So take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what I mean
That on the other side the grass is greener
I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink (do do do...)
I'm the geek in the pink ya'll
geek is the color for fall
I'm the geek in the pink
so i'm the geek ya'll
in the pink ya'll
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink

today was slack for float..stick a few sniff alot and went for lunch..
kinda lookin forward to an og outin esp if its to go K haha.
but i m lookin forward to tml..cos its kinda liek the big day... the matriculation day..i m matriculatin haha da xue le.. official.. gonan get the card taht does wonder in little nus. its funy matriculatin just sounds liek so many things else.. i dunno.. gesticulatin..ok lets not go there..

yah tm lgonna be messy. two strangers.my mum ..lots of ppl.. lap top rush cca fair.. hmm wonder wad i l ljoin..who will catch my attn? hmm..but defn jjoinin sth tho most ppl say its impossible to cope.. its not that i think myself better than em.btu i ll liek to juggle and lead an interestin life.. its not liek i ve a gf as my cca.. yeah i ll like to try sth new.. at the same time continue to do things i m alr gd at.. or like doin..yeah..
so will it be choir? cross country? swimmin? canoe polo? rovers? diving? chinese chess? haha shrugs.. i dunn o i can join ath! drama too.. i dun mind.. or jsut learn a lang. .med students cant beat for other modules but can choose t olearn any lang of their chocie/ but forget malay..tis too popular.. haha yah i thin ki ll start with tamil or french..as if i du nhave enuffthing s to memorise.. but i think it will break the monotony right?

check out the pink guys..anw i thin to sing liek mraz is really hard so i m gonan try to learn the geek in pink song.. haha but i wanna read my text books too! haha i mean evberyone is doin it.. and bein really honest and fran kabt it.. jeremy said.. yeah u shoul;d esp if u are looki nt oteh dean's list.. haha oh well i m lookin but if i dun get it..its not sht i ll measure my self worth agst.. not his time. .las ttime i used to get my self worth by my results.. but things are different now. .i m happy where i am..if i m not gd with the theory i ll make sure i b a gd practical doctor.

and its liek who would have known? yah ..who would ve known the little boy wh osat in fron of the class in geyalng bahru would study med someday..when the sci tcha first la his eyes on me.. he tht i was nonsense..btu latert i werked very hard and he started praisi nme i nsec one.. is til lrmb my sci tcha was this really tall guy..mr ong.. i sat next to ashish.. haha who would ve tht..ther eare oni two 6 yr victorians in med..one is a guy frm my paltoon last tiem 4I very shy and quiet guy..apparently musically very talented yeah was in hsien yeow;s class in vj..yeah we are the on itwo 6 yr victorian this batch..i mean to be a 6 yr rafflessian is like..erm ok..how interestin..yah.

and soemone said hm med is for rafflesian wad.. where got ppl wher e vj tshirt in med.. tsk tsk.(okok get me an rj t shirt haha) oops

i ve some kindarash that is really irritatin and wun go away.since army i nguards dayl..its quite irritaitn..

i had tea with may may today and she revelaed a secret haha. oha nd news spread i met charm's fren who alr knew i was her councilleee.such a weird spellin. anyhow. right and thwe yall say i must go get a lab coat. tml i ll be carryi nquite a lot of books..jeremy is gonan pass them to me. hmmhe said i shoudl get a creative mp3 player to record physio lecture cos its really tough and the lecturers can go quite fast..but i just got a POD! haha

and yeah in the series of i look likes..today is the number?
ok see the first day of med( i dunno if this is some way of relatin of gettin to know ppl or chattin ppl up..) but yeah on the first day of bmt i look like this zutec..or wadeva then first day of medi cam pi look rjish..second cday i look hc ish the nafter that the yconcluded i m acish..oi mean i dun care..wad jc u thin ki m from..plus i du ndo my hair.hha so i wake up looki ndiff abit everyday..ahha depends on my angle of sleep..and frankly i sleep in a diff position everynight.. haha right and then yah a lto of ppl say i look like this rjguy la.. and i met him on the trai ntwo days ago..he is a psc schoalr so disrupted oso.. ha yeah andi told him hey i look liek u ..thats wad they all said.. so daft..but yeah..a bit la.. but i m tanner. anw.. yea and someone in my og said i look like john leong today..and this person said my movement like the marvel villian venom..very sudden! sheesh. venom..how does he move? hahatoo much head jerkin motion alr.

the kiss of I would understand. at 5:31 AM .

oh my new love is brown in colour.. haha this leather brown skin for me pod.
wil lreate a new song lsit for it.. plus it stores all my photos..actuali i m quite an idiot la.. my comp stores all my photos.. my phn stores all my photos..my blog stores a lot of photos.. now my ipod too..adn soon my lappie too.. hmm hmm..

did church chori today haha i jumped for the first time.. it was actuali quite fun..but nah i rather sit down peacefully amongst the crowd..haha cos after doin the duty jsut feel kinda distracted (some call it high) to u knwo pay attn..hahamachaaim lecture..

anw tml got lecture..oh man. btu haiya prob not so impt.. shrugs..i ve a small confessio nto make. i m hooked onto my text books.. iu guessthats a gd start..the illustrations are really nice. and yeah very interesting.. my dad saw the books and told my mum that was what he always wantred to study..truth be.. medicine was my dad;s dream..more than mine..

yeah my mum said this when i got med..she said i m not sure if u got ur dream..but u sure got ur dad's dream..oh well..for a moment that soudned kinda turnoff. .cos i hate to think that we are in anw similar..

kenneth kept sayin the girls look horribel; with makeuphaha liek a monkey;s ass..haha

kowai kao..

oops. another superficial empty day. too much of a good thing is bad.

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:16 AM .

psst.. du ndisturb nick is muccging now. btw my ipod's name is now nicpod with a dot..so its

nicpod. haha

alright. i met 4 of mycell mates in town today..kenneth zhen ming and christian. okok..shh mugging now. and playin with my new expensive toy.

the kiss of I would understand. at 8:11 AM .

this is a cool cap..and the above attire is wad i got for my bday fro mthe shirt to the jeans to the cap.. oh and thats doin the action that one of ah ya's smiley does.
oh no oh no.. today i dun feel alot. haha didnt think a lot..

spent a lto al ot of money.. oops
bht clothes.. bht text books and guess wad! bht an ipod video! oh man and gonna buy a mac book pro soon!

and here are the excuses..
clothes cos my bday week have alto of discounts at various shops.. actual i ibht mostly for frens not for myself..

text books..well peer pressure! everyone bth alr.. the person at the shop said STUDY HARD haha everyone's been telli nme that but i sure darn hel lwill.. in facti feel like startin like now! haha but oh well relax.. the place at orchard felt really medical..(not magical)

right.. and then walked over to wheel lock..had two funerals lately. .my old ipod and my spiky slipeprs! my mum threw my slipepras away.. argh its like..yeah she is always lookin for things tro throw.. its very bad when i say sth spoil cos she wil ljsut discard them..she claims i liek to keep junk(well i jsut m sentimental and cant bear to throw stuff away) and she on the other hand cant wait to throw every thign away.. its almost like its therapeutic.. oh ok.. btu she is a great mum.. i mean no buts..
anyhow..yeah my ipod..no more warranty so repairin it which is not doen in sg ..it wil ljust end up bein replaced would cost 400 over bucks..might as well get a 4th generatio nipod.. an ipod video! ha yeah but i chose white not black i nloving memory of my old ipod..and anw..apples are meant to be white and snowy..black is jsut wrong.. right. my mum didnt blink at all..i guess its how much she loves me..she just saiud hey u werk so hard can la..jsut get a new one.. u cant live without an ipod right.. she is absoultely right .. inever felt so directionless for so long ..heh..but anw..yay i got a video now.. tho my heart ache..i mean today was my tuitio npay day! sheesh and all gone..

i wnna buy a mac book..black its abt the smae as mac book pro actuali..but iliek the white one.. i go for asthetics sadly.. it just has to look nice and suit me? haha rubbish.

ok need to restart comp.. to install ipod software..lalala

oh wish me allt he best tml..gonna be on stage!

its white! but i ll miss my 3rd gen i pod.. i m one of the few ard wh ostil lahd teh click wheel non color one..hais not anyore..and my slipeprs well i could have removed the spikes..and stil lwear.. y did it have to go..sigh it brt so much attn to me! to me haha. oops.

ok matriculatin soon. i spent almost as much as i did for prom today..

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:34 AM .

someone doesnt like me. or my blog. bleh. so cute to leave such an angry msg but anw forgove me if i have offended anyone i obviously dun mean it.

today was qutie fun tho abit tirin..haha i did stunts in the mornin and my partner was oh no i m bad at rememberin names.. shi wei..the one of the saparro immersion grp rgs girl..haha..yeah i was really shy at first..but she is really strong and encouraging.. did three stunts..i(i was a subsitute for reheasal) first was straddle..had to life her by the waist to above my face usin her momentum..then was around thre world.. whic his a rather sleek move if done coreectly haha grabbin the girl by the sides and swingin her around u.. momentum needed agn..and the last was the hardest..u grab the girl once lift her up..then she her legs go between u..and then u use ur knee momentum to toss her sorta fling her up suchtha she is facing u..and her legs point to the sky! haha i neveer tht i would do such.. haha btu yeah i think i was ok..(hahaself praise agn..tsk)

haha as a resutl i didnt contribute much to float today.. went to sentosa for og outin..played many hrs opf ultimate frisbee and beach volleyball..ahha think my legs may ache tml..fro mal lthe jumpin..ahha..nah pro bnot i dunno...but was quite fun today jsut siot down chil land talk to ppl..
lots of eye candies at the beac htoo..erm ok never really look out la..but it seemed like the right thing to say when u describe a beach outing...haha..

it feels nice to be praised yeah..when ppl say hey nick u re really funny haha or hey wah fast sia..ur eyes are really quick..u know like sometimes u make nice moves or catches in ball games or whatever..jsuyt bein praised..it feels good of cos.. but i dunno i guess its not a good thing to let pride get in the way..its prob human nature to want to be praised but i ve to rmb not to let ..u get way above my head.,..or u knwo whatever.. ppl may liek u for awhile.. but if u dun behave itn the right way things may jsut g ocompletely..the otehr way..the balance can just tip..

anyhow. this yr's presents so far are pretty cool..ahha got a nice jap card and t shirt from yafen..but thank her bestest frren too..got a funky cap from therbo..haha nto sure if i m entittled to cal her that.. hhaa yeah but the msg on it is really quite sweet..and lame.. ssweet and lame..hmm.. ok and yeah my cell grp got me a huge shoe bag.. its red and silver in color..like my fav track suit.. haha yeah and today i didnt check the mirror when i left the hosue.. iw as lookin totalyl red.. shirt and all..ahaha so national day.. sheesh.
haha thank you everyone for all the wishes and all.. oh my mummy bht me cool jeans too..

bleagh my ipod.. i cant live without u.. sob.

And i ll try. to fix U.

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:41 AM .

lala..
alright i m nineteen today.. bleagh the last yr before the big 2 0...(not that big lar)
ok i shall think of nineteen reasons why i m really happy..

this is really one of my happiest bday.. genuinely..happy its a good yr.. comparable to my p4 bday..

and the number one reason is:
1) i m at home with mummy dearest now!
2) i went back to church and feel a lot less i dunno angry with life?
3) i am pursuing my dream of become an ISHA at this very moment..I am a loo lin.!
4) i have a great bunch of mad med ppl in my og and they celebrated my bday for me yest so sweet! thanks
5)Charmaine is my councilor haha and she has lots of notes to pass me! lol no but she is really very helpful and nice.
6) i love my cell they have all wished me alr..
7) RAymond my ogl who is really lame has helped me get a hostel palce or sorta.. haha so darn lookin forward to it...
8) God answered my prayers i have sorta recovered alr..
9) endorphins.. i ran for two hours continuously by myself ard nus..yeah to get familiarised with the place.. a nice sense of achievement considerin i havent exercised in a long time
10) i have disrupted from NS haha while all my frens have reverly at dunno wad time to water parade..i was havin ice milo at macs!
11) at ten am more than ten ppl have wished me hapyp bday...oh well and eyah tho i have a lto of foreign phone numbers in my phone i just say thank you anw..
12) yeowmay msged me from melbourne haha she rmbs.. lol so happy..
13)for once in so many yrs i ll be having bday dinner with ah ya.. i hope.
14)ok nineteen reasons is really hard.. i m going to receive presents? haha oh there is a really funny testimonial on my friendster from angeline
15) i still look like a kid.. at least thats wad most ppl tell me.. eh child like and childish are two different things..
16)happy cos tehere are really a lot of good old and new frens out there who care abt me..
17) sch is gonna start soon! yah i m really happy
18)i m gonna get a new lap top buy new clothes and own new books !

19) life just looks greeat at the moment man i wanna travel, dive, play canoe polo everything! lalala

oh well.. still. i dropped my ipod yest.. so its kinda jammed.. super sad..yeah but i ll get it fixed soon.
went runnin..ran to law fac.. adn guess who i saw i ntheir rag dance.. chian siew, ziyun, ruizi and huiling.. oh man its really chisai seikai..and they called me a spy fro mmed fac..

nick scoots off.

the kiss of I would understand. at 8:22 PM .

HELLO WORLD! (: this is my new blog layout..

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste

COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face

And I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face

And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.

the kiss of I would understand. at 2:57 AM .

u re boring.

tsumaranai.

tsk tsk..i cannot complain but i went to watch pirates alone just now. the cinema was rather empty but the dumb ass ticketer had to place me with a group of frens whom i dunno its so weird.. like i m sittin next to a bunch of jolly ppl when i dunno them in an empty cinema where there are so many available seats..they prob thinki m weird too but then..i know for a fact that humans think too much of themselves.. no one actual ithinks that much abt u.. so yeah its just me and my super self conscious side sayin"hey nick the yare thinkin that u re weird" well anw its liek takin ur shirt off in front of an entire audience ..u feel embarassed and u may thin kthat no one is goin to forget this night well trust me they forgot all abt it in less than half an hr..

yeap so was it bad.. well i dunno.. it ht spendin time alone was a pleasant change howeever if anyone saw me they be like..hey y are u alone. .hey y so sad case..go out alone.. hey no gal ah? hmm alright firstly being alone is realyl not sad..ti gives me space and i can go to any shop prentend to be interested and ask all sorts of silly quesiton.. i dun have to stop for anyone..and well goin out with someone is stressful..by an infinite...i mean u have to keep conversatrions going.. u have to worry the other persojn is bored.. u have to explain y u call the other person out..and if uwerenever close to that person it might be worse.. and there tey may reject goi notu with u and then..GOD knows wad! yeah precisely so yeah its stressful goin out with company i supposed. . btu of its prefered.. which brings me back t othe rolelr coaster theory u know..(humans by right evolution has made us well capable of protectin ourselves..and by right we shouldnt enjoy roller coaster rides..cos they are well thrillin and dangerous but we stil ldesire more of them so somewhere along the lineour mind is pretty messed up..and according to the professor who promoted yakult we are messed up by parasites,,,ALRIGHT SHHH WE Are not going there) nick is obviously left alone for too long and his mind is spinnin out of its proper axis.. yeah btu its prob strange for anyone to readthat nick actual ithinks hangin out with ppl is scary because most ofthe time he seems to enjoy the limelight by bein the cockster right? haha btu yeah ephemereal.

whatever.. i miss the loo lins. its weird i oni know them a week ago and i was just with them yesterday.but they seem the oni source of free ppl i have now.. i mean woo chiao is so nice to me..really he is a great pal who cares..see how much he msges me..hahaha..and eyah this is my new bunch or fren for the next few yrs or so..of cos i might get close to my anat grp..(all same surnames..so most likely not..the NGs are a pain in the ass) my current frens are all i nNS and yeah du nget me wrong i m ver y grateful i m here. i mean i read kay's msg and i dun want atp to stand for anything more than adenosine triphosphate.. sheesh advance trainin package.. thats just uncool.

ok i m goi nnus tomolo..as much as hit wil lburn my ez link card.. ha maybe i l lstay over wit hwoon yang.. i dunno.. btu oh well..

i m so bored i may just change my blogskin now.

no dun say that i m not bored sorry.

and LOrd i m ver ygrateful. for my cel lmy cell leader my friends and my opportunities.. and thankyou. last night i was totally sick and all.. and i prayed real hard torecover today and yeah i feel so muc hstronger today..honestly all i need to do is go out be a lame jock and run like there is no tomorrow.. yeap./. i need to run. it helps me feel alive.

anw i placed my hands on my mu mand prayed for her today but darn i was so nervous i bet all i did was mumble mumble and bet she couldnt hear me..sigh sucha failure..

and sorry sky..i guess we could alwaasy run after church or wad u knwo ..just u and me ..yeah sheesh..i mean 25 bucks to ru nis a bit pricey..my mum said i better think carefully spend crefully when i ask her for money today..eyah tis true normally ppl should pay me to run..haha and not the other way ard.. so bhb..btu yeah..i gonna get some real run and not REAL run..

the kiss of I would understand. at 1:08 AM .

orientation fever has consumed me. i feel quite sic kalr. i m lookin forward to sch start.. really the initial enthuiasm for lectures adn all is actualli there so Praise the Lord. but still i thin ki will be draggin my dead body thru all the classes when sch start.. esp if i have t otravel bac kand forth nus..

am i sad?.. anw auditioned for dance today.. i didnt get in.. ha ha. yeap. i tht i did pretty ok if not gd better than half the guys there..oh well initially i didnt want to be in the dance thing wads dragged int oit but later i tht anw i ll just give it my best shot....btu there were too few girls or sth and the guys who were chosen were all teh really big size guys cos it was more than dance. .the guys had to carry and toss the girls.. haha so i guess i didnt get in cos i look really small.. but its alright.. my spirits are stil lup. .a bit relieve i didnt get in.. cos rehearsal is gonna be tirin but i bet it be fun.. mroe fun than jsut paintin and designin the floats i guess.. haiyo.. but yah i thin ki wun go down nus so frequent alr.. yeap.. alto of ppl oso not goin..woo chiao amanda are werkin..the fun ppl are all i nthe dance.. so i guess. it be pretty boring.. ha yaeh..

its m ybday..this week and i feel kinda confused.

loo lin. tsk.

the kiss of I would understand. at 3:27 AM .

saigo
felt wrong..instead of going to church today i went to a temple.
i went to meet my surety..i half wish my surety was just someone i know liek my uncle. or wad..it really should have been. but my muminsist on usin my dad;s fren as my uncles may come in inemergency cases like last min bank loans blah blah..women are really shrewd creatures.

anyhow.
i reminded him to bring his income statement yeah and he said well if i can trust u u must learnt otrust me too..and he gives u that look... ok. dude its not abt trust if u screw up my matri there be no trust or love to speak of. btu well.. yes. trust. a very fishy fishy word.

anyway
my parents bicker onstop over the miniest issue and i dunno they pronb will never get along..sometimesi feel liek a coward i wish i was livin far far away from everything as if it s got nth t odo with me. .u know if i own a hostel at least i can have my pseudo life.
jsut a tht. of cos its not true i want to be wit hmy mummy always. btu sometimes its just too pain ful u know ..to see ehr not smilin and bein upset all day. u just wish u werenta part of this world . right nick?

so i had a frumpy bday dinner but anw i was feeli nreally lousy..totally drowsy this medicine is really strong stuff.. ihave necer felt my heart beat so fast b4 and uknow jsut bein totally unableto stay awake.. i thik i really shouldnt eat them tml.. sigh..

i prob should be sleepin

but my mind is tht laden.admist the drowsiness. i realised i havent spoken to someone in a century. yeah. and yeah and yeah. jitsu wa..experiment.

the kiss of I would understand. at 7:15 AM .

haha ok some campin highlights.. more to come i hope.

the kiss of I would understand. at 10:10 AM .

ooh just came back from k box and buffet.. hard to believe i was feeli nso sick jsut hours ago. haha i really ate a lot for a sick guy.. on antibiotics and really drowsy medication..btu yeah i m a loonie... a loo lin looney so ..anything goes.

haha somehow ur range is a biut weird when u have abit throat..like u can reach some notes u used to be unable t oat the same time u cant sing ur norm range.. haha weird..

bleagh really full now. cant sleep i guess..

hais supposedto be having cell today.. but well no choice sometimes really have to give time to frens who i dunno how to say..who are so hardt o meet up with..im so invisible..and i ll prob become more so.

uncomitted nick.

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:53 AM .

oh no! its super embarassing. sigh i m lazy to blog alr.. this mornin i asked my student why hasnt she gotten her curves? (french curve and flexi curve u know liek for drawing graphs) bleh..and hse gave me that look..hahha it sounded totalyl wrong.. so embarassing..imagine if she said oh cos i m oni 15...argh...

ouch.

went to doc today..feelin quite drowsy and sick still haha.. and the doc asked me alot abt med fac and all that..tis really cool we had aalong chat tho i didint really havet the time.. he has a p6 boy who he is thinkin of sending to vs.. haha yeah bleh..

too lazy to blog in proper sentences. medicamp was.. nto too bad. yeah my og was pretty nice. and had lots of fun..for most of the time. i wanna upload pictures cos the yprob say a thousand more words..(cliche) ha but yeah i dun realy have any.. at least not il ltherbo is back.. yeah i kinda thnk i have a clique now.. was intitally worriedthat i be quite leftotu with a whole bunch of rafulusu ppl but yeah.. in kay's words my mojo helped.. shessh.. wad a thing to say!

anw.. yeah after all the craziness not sleepi nplayin bondin games swimmin late into the night.. strippin almost all thetime.. and orientation is orientation and it means a lot of argh stuff to do..i feel too lazy to take part ion ath now actuli..and esp cos it means i have to travel to nus daily.. and i du nreally rwanna dance.. or can dance.. i want but i knwo i cant i m a slow learner.. haha.. oh welll

keepin my hopes high for hostel applicatins now tho.. a senior has promised to help me..

i m so grateful for feeli nwelcomed.. i even patched up with frens i used to have sth agst.. yeah some of them..

ha.

the kiss of I would understand. at 11:17 PM .

i m proud of my production i wanna win the most creative secret pal letter leh.. so i did this slidding card thingie..lol

so its read liddat .haha the BOLD WORDS

HEys, i m not sure if i
was looking forward to the camp but i sure

want to know you. because u have a
nice personality to be in this faculty right?(lol self praise!) never mind the

lame name thanks to our ogls. they probably
are really nice ppl. tell me more abt urself k. i ll too but no matter wad i probably

suck anw. right now i just want to
make lots of friends before we all

go home. dont u think so? oh well you probably
think i m really crappy haha i realli am. Don't

hate me! whatever ..i just hated
it when school ended in jc. u know

the thought of orientation
and all that... was so much fun. miss those days man.

sheesh..thats all i have to say =(
for now but hope u ll like me! haha be sure to

reply?
Of course you will! Cya

the kiss of I would understand. at 5:56 AM .

where are u going?

my mum asked me..if i would ever say this " haiyo i miss army life.. i rather chong sua then go thru all these" in afew mths time..
ha its a very interesting qn. i hope not. yeah and nth can save me either if i really feel this way. (inner voice) its not too late nick..u havent marticulated! sheesh

lots of inner voice these days.. grrr.. the usual wishywashy uncertain guy that i m. .like hm shuld i change blogskin? hah aok i ll do it on my bday.. thats not a difficult question.

i have plenty of difficult qns..not all need ans most jsut need to be asked and askin is in itself the hardest part..i mean there are questions that by just askin uin itself the yare alr wrong..but anyway anyhow i l lthin of a way..liekthe sayin abt a boat and bridge and everythign becomin straight ...yeah that one..

sheesh.

i had a lot of cardiac werkout today..did a mini biathlon..haha no la..swam a bit today and the nimmediately went running and immediately went to do weights.. oh b4 that i went tannign too haha.. teh vain spot in me is workin up a fever..

fish memory.. eyah it feels gd to werkout.. went to check out my future home..i eman where i be putti nup when i study in nus.. sigh..ok with my uncle's fam.. i am really grateful dun get me wrong a nice dude is offerin me to put upat his palce ..admist all the possible inconveniences i may cause..but well i just ..think il lfeel awkward.. its nto that i m ungrateful btu i cant exactly say i m close to this uncle.. and certain events make change difficult.. yeah well change IS always difficult. i guessa ny other relative would have been easy for me..but they are sorta a yougn couple now..no not that they are young they have a young boy and the yjust got married..u know i dunno stayin there seems wrong.. and where is my civilian life if i m gonna feel restricted and oni go home on weekends! and i mean what if teh ywanna fight thrash things out or get really lovey dovey..wun i be in the way! sheesh.

sheesh indeed.. and i mean wun there be some curfew.and wad if they cook for me..can i turn down? haiyo and wad if by some dumb stroke of luck i get to in via the waitinglist.. am i to just pack my bags..wad is GOd;s will! ok hostel well..element of fun is there but most ppl in hostel du npass exams.. and then i dunno wad abt pgp its pretty cool too..likeownin ur own condo! bleagh.

why why.ljack u are so STUUU pid! u shuld have just applied then..

but the morning forgives all things. i dun think that its time that heals. i thin kits sleep that heals.. if u go to sleep angyr u prob wake up feelin better if u re super sad or angry u just need more sleep. haha.

in my dreams i be singing a duet and playing a piano.swimmin in mutton soup. and bein super in love with u. but those are just dreams.

i want to shop.

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:31 AM .

ooh getti nmy paycheck soon.
haiyo..see cheong paid the bill agn! crap.
and someone ah gave me so much coins.

grr.. i feel kinda drawn away and distracted.. liek i m oni physically ard but mentally somewhere else ..somewhere far away..
a dying part of me.

right tml is my first free day.. i shall spend it wisely..
hmm am i looki nforward to makin frens orientation and balh...

well its a tough qn.. of cos i look forward to my course and all.. but i dread the weariness to come. sch is gonna be tiring. and making frens as well a very tiring process.. but my life now well feels kinda lonely..yeah coming fro mme.. its a rare feeling.

job dedications. oyasumi

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:44 AM .

zhipeng!
turn ard.. my response time to zhipeng is perhaps a few millisec faster than to nick. andoni my old frens call me that of my mum.. no my mum will jsut go peng peng.. haha yeah so i was i nnus today..met jedrick b4 my hep b vaccination..wah quite numbin leh.. istil lcant feel properly. .weird eh..next shot in a mths tiome..cool.. now i thk everything abt the clinic is cool..haha

and it was ..simin..haha she was in union camp..actual iplenty of girls i n camp..or rather i just aint knwo the guys.. i mean yeah like duh! jedrickwas doi nunion camp.. and there was zhenyi ruth simin and even the tall person..hmm mmm.. and crashers haha its nice to knwo that pppl can stil lcall out so excitedly to ur name despite u havent spoken a word to her in yrs..but yeah its excitin isnt it we are all goin to be in campus agn..haha yeah right.. i dun look forward to sch la..

well se be in business..ha kinda guessed it. ok my hands are really numb.

i m loved.
clouds cleared at last today

i feel so guilty and sorry. i worry all the time. i guess faith doesnt come so easily to me. anw had a lot of things to settle the moment i got my freshmen guide...

omornin rush to bank..to take loan. then rushed to uni to settle the use of cpf for uni..yeah i expect my whole course to be abt 80 k plus..after subsidy..so cpf wil l take abt 30 percent the rest bank loan..yeah..interest will be there so i guess i ll pay till the end of my life.. repaying u till teh end of time..indeed. hmm yeah but its ok.. its a dream come true. its my dream job..there will be different things to do each day..lives implicated..there will be meaning and challenge..yeah so i wun ask fo r more..but its prob a drainin job..

i m happy. eyah i dropped a student today. yeah and well i was feeli ndrained the entire week..studyin my Alevel stuff and malay all overagn ..plus a 12 hr job and 4 students..and rushin to and fro ends of sg..finally..friday promises to be the end of thsi for awhile..
sat my students ar goin msia! i m free! must make gd use of my sat leh..

who wants to date me?! haha right..i wanna swim cycle go gym watch movie sing k box all in one day! sigh

haha i cant wait to watch pirates but i have leartn from experience that shows which i expect too much of norm disappoint. but oh well there is alwas my idol mr depp..captain jack SParrow.. ooh a captain hahaha

a captain..

yeah sat. who wants to play badminton?

the kiss of I would understand. at 7:12 AM .

what abt tomorrow.
bleh the world is mean to nick.

the stupid person at the video sho pwas so fierce.. hais i feel ruffed up.
call m y dear surety.. things were pretty rosy. another case of mad nick;s dad syndrome. crap la..

work was boring .kept drawing graphs..
finally got hold of the freshman guide everytime isee it i feel argh..
i should have jsut applied for hostel then.. so much for :wait till i defer see how" bleh.

no one understands.

the kiss of I would understand. at 8:42 AM .

lydia 迷离的眼眶
为何流浪
心碎的海洋
受了伤连微笑都彷徨
gypsy女郎
为谁而唱

你会看见雾看见云看见太阳
龟裂的大地重复着悲伤

他走了带不走你的天堂
风干后会留下彩虹泪光
他走了你可以把梦留下
总会有个地方等待爱飞翔

lydia 幸福不在远方
开一扇窗
许下愿望

你会感受爱感受恨感受原谅
生命总不会只充满悲伤

他走了带不走你的天堂
风干后会留下彩虹泪光
他走了你可以把梦留下
总会有个地方等待爱飞翔

suddenly the song seems really nice. i wanna go swimmin today but the timing aint right. i wanna go drown today but the timin is perfect.

identifyin my inquities is easier than i tht.
i ve been studyin my fam and parents as a result.. and i see where many of my behaviour patterns might have come from..sheesh do i sound wrong?

emotional ppl. over emotional. constantly need to feel impt.. gets really upset and the nthe ches pains sets in.. thats both my parents.

my dad cant get a simple job done.. ok he wants to feel involved whatever.. finally he has sth to be proud of this son i guess.. sorry. but i vaguely recall this one to one session where i had to ans three questions

describe ur dad in one word: a disaster
describe ur relationship with ur dad: huh? i dunno. non-existent?
do u love ur father? i : i dun wanna sound mean. i ll pass on the question.

yeah so he was first tovolunteered to find a surety.. ok number one..he listens with his ear but its as if his head is a separate organ. like the info dooesnt reach the head or sth..so he was quick to say this fren he barely know is very nice..and will be my surety..well fine.. i could reserve better candidates for better use..i eman yeah i may need a loan someday.. so fine.. and he asked a million qns when the task is really simple.. get a surety.. the surety must bring his income statement on the signin of contract date and in the case where i break bond the surety is liek my gurantor yeah..sounds simple right.. and of cos the surety must know and trust me.. he kept sayin things like oh this guy nop roblem la very rich can help me get alot of money and long as he sign.. so obvsiously he doesnt understnad wadi m sayin..i m not askin for money la.. the govt takes care of their precious few talents dude..grr..i just need him to make sure he brings a chap along wioth their income statemewnt on that day..its like any other scholarship la..wah lau..not first ime i gettin scholarships right just that now the um very big andits a five yr bond med contract..

he lieks to exagerrate things and keeps accusin me of not readin properly..the thing is i prob read the letter a million times..i mean u knwo how happty i was to get into med right..yeah its a simple thing la..get someoen to sign he had two mths to find ppl. he keep insistin on this fren of his who is ver yrich.. he doesnt get it thats not the point.. i hate talki nt omy dad its like talkin to a snail. i think i yell at a snai lit will oso know to siam..yeah so last night he came into the hse and say the guy spoke to him and was abt t osign but pen know ink..he let the guy keep the letter..he got so many things wrong FIRST he cant let the guy KEEP the LETTER its mine.. and second the GUY is not the firs tsurety u have to be the first la.. uare the father leh..wah lau.. the guy kept askin so u mean if u die and ur son dropos out i have to pay everything...

hais i believe there are nice ppl in this world but i du nbalem it he doesnt knwo me.. who i m or wad..its liek if its any of my relative they wun even ask la.. they be happy to support me..tho i pro bhave to endure lousy cNys but thats a different story..

yeah i told my dad its all abt trust ..thats wad it means to be a gurantor.. its a ver ysimple issue.. and i thin k u shuld let me speak to the guy..god knows what he has said man.. he prob interpreted the issue toi the guy is three billion different "languages" such that it sounds totally off.. yeah off tangent man. i ve doen so many omaths papers...

and this morni nhe woke u pand said.. call ur uncle stand by..

wad he talkin abt where got standby one.. and my uncle wil lbe hurt oso ewad.. liek oh hello can u sdtand byu re my second choice.. rubbish right? how did i have a dad like him? bleh.

i fee lliek france now. liek a drunken zidane..doin rubbish..liek the vj guy who after comin in first for x country became crazy and go round slappin ppl..

argh.. and wai jia watched coldplay declarin it over msn..sheesh.. i actuali had a date t owatc hleh .. but i couldnt bear to part with my money..

argh waddehell.. my dad cant do the simplest stuff. i gotta move my horse alr..got thsi irritatin insurance babnk loaner who keeps msgin me telli nme abt soem investment paln and wantin to meet up with me.. i m gonan stopbein so friendly alr.. honestly i should have punched that guy who took my 4 bucks..jsut for anger relieve.

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:34 PM .

end of me.

i feel drained. i see my nails scratching the ground. as if the ywere sinkin in. i think i have a lot to say in this entry that may upset a lot of ppl. i thin ki need to get a private blog alr.

i feel miserable today. honestly i dun fee lvery high after encounter if nto a bit lower. spiritually.

but well. lets push those thts aside. i m good at pushin everything aside. i went running today. despite my terrible legs.. my legs are so gone..play pool oso feel the pain..take train oso feel weird.. right i have a specialist appointment in october.. screw it.

yeah primal injuries are aggravated by the slightest touch if u harbour them. its been a week wehre bookin in is the last thing on my own. btu still..anw i was sorta extorted money from today. bleh. ok lets go i norder of the events that has been makin me miserable..

1) right thsi tatooed person came u pt o mi and seei n4 bucks in my hands he asked me to give it to him.. ieman iif u ask nicely with pls and thankyou and looka t least abit pathetic i would give in.. (igave i nanw) but he was demandin it anw..d was right i did think he was a drug addict. it was the first tht that cross my mind..but he sorta corner me.. nto that i was scared la.. cmon i could take teh bugger..its not just icct or wad..i could oso out run him defn..but i didnt want to create a scene and honestly i could half emphatise with him.. i mean i have been in such situation too i had ask pp lo nthe road for money and have been given generously..ok cos i have some manenrs i guess.. but that bugger didnt..he was jsut give me 4 bucks.. and i was liek i na dilemma.. i traded the ezlink card that followed me for 10 yrs for 4 bucks and now i m gonna give u the money in my hands which i held for less than a min! crap leh..stupid amk station the ticketi nbooth is like at the corner..bleh but i jsut gave him al.. i dunno why oso.. i was too tired and thirsty to think of anything else.. i hope he doesnt get itn otrouble.. wil lpray for him.. sheesh.

2) i wanan stay in hostel! so damn unfair.. MINDEF is the worst organization la.. so bloody inefficient ..so much for a wayang ndp .. see la..took so long to defer the med students.. now we cant even apply for hostel by the time we were defer for ewhich was last week the applications for hostel were clsoed and its not jsut for hostel..we didnt get so muc hinfo cos nus didnt know if we be deferin..no freshmen guide no nth..no nth at all.. some ns guys claim to be pissin in their knickers btu i m jsut pissed. its the first tiem liddat leh.. last time the med guys disrupted early and had time to settle al lthe admin stuff.. u kmwo how much friggi tiem i wasted in army ..for nth.. i wondered what i ve done in the last months leh.. honestly.. wad ve i doen water parade water parade.. wad crap la..everyday so mindless..starin int obunk cleanin the big drain..quenin up for food that i dun wanna eat.. wasted so much MICH time..when i coudl have easily made a lot more money outside enriched myself.. and accomplish a million mroe meaningful things..

the reaso ny i m so pissed is cos i have been travelin to and fro nus the last few days and my bus fare needs to be topped up so quickly.. its really long journeys..leh and everytime i go down to settle stuff its like less than five mins.. i couldn t take my booster today cos i had flu.. bleh..wad a waste of time! it would really help if i had somewhere to stay in nus.. grr.

3) i fee friggin grr alr..sch is starti ntoon.. i got a lot of commitments now lehj.. a lto of jobs.. but havent received any pay yet.. 4 students and one agency..agency is aski ne to be a staff there a teachin staff..chemistry..hmm i dunno.. i wil lwanan keep ajob when i study..btu which one.. i dunno everyone is speaki nso fast on the phone..and barely have time..to sit down.. and when i werk i jsut lose track of TIME and my meals..grr i need t ochoose..

4) well done.. i m totally angry and have lost my patience all over agn..so much for anger management.

5) i want to know the answer and wad to do!

i feel drained and dry.

hq bdae..oh today;s is hq's bday..haha happy bday.

admist an irritated nick.

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:18 AM .

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:06 AM .

hello. join me in my swashbuckin adventure.
sword is the word.

ok i have gone for encounter. yeap. climbin up the ladder. but it is not one whic hi want to rush up. encounter was well yeah it served its purpose.. the lord showed me alot.. and actualli even more that was out of camp syllabus. no cca points. (ok at this point of time i wanna blog abt encounter in peace without so many ppl chatti nand aski nme a million qns)

my brain is kindatired..flesh is weak ha i have my chem notes waitin for me on one side. i need to study. right i need to get to the impt stuff.

encounter the ver yfirst step/ is a cam pfor u to encounter GOD and hear the many thigns he have to say as he has encountered so many ppl and brt a plethora of miracles to so many lives. i was really positive abt the camp. but well i was surrounded by cynics. well nto relli..jsut a realyl analyitcal person..realist and practical..someone really knowledgeable wh ofeels he alr feels that we both know most of the stuff which is true.. but ok he was right. i did knwo most of the stuff i was gonan hear..and many i struggle to agrtee with..but iknow that there is a bigger picture we shoudl not run from and bein concern with all the tiny details all the time is a graveyard.

well youyi was my closest mate there so i really neede to hang ard him. i am usually really sociable and yeah surrounded by frens if many aspects of my life.but somehow i still struggle alot in church cos there is alto i dun understand and i m afraid to. and hwat it would mean if i understood.. i guess im a coward. i didtnunderstnad why ppl cry all the time.. irefuse to believe that i cant be my own master at times.. i didnt understand hwo everyone can be so bright cheerful and piositive abt life all the time.. i listen to plenty of christian testimonies.. these pp lare always so happy.. 10 years 20 yeears.. into their christian lives.

ineeded to kwo why.. ih ave so many qns.. i am truly grateful that i got int omedicine.. by the grace of GOD.. he has helped me pul lthru so much..esp i nmy NS days.. what i felt was physically impossible he gave me strength when i asked for it. haha sounds almost liek i had a cheating formula. but there are days i feel dry. i try to rmb his commandments.. btu there are days i jsut wake up feeli nbitter and angry and i swallow em.. i m emotional..yeah veyr emotional person..and somedays i feel terribel and i see nomeanin in prayer..and jsut b4 encounter i was feeli nliddat and worse jsut as i was on my way to the camp i met my number one person on my hate list. its a rather long list. really. i glared at him and i felt my blood rising. ha iknow why i have a pulse of below 50 now..cos i may burst an artery otherwise. lol..but yeah..i was a lousy navigator..i too kan hr to get t osheares hall.. basically went in nus walked round my future sch in circles at the other end of it.. so thru it all i was feeli nreally frustrated. .alr an hr late and all.. when i had to pray.. i just couldnt.. isang as loudly as i could but the feeli nwas not there.. iwas angry at the day..angry at having to compelte 3 amaths paper in the mornin.. i mean its really tiring ..

the next morni nwasnt any much better.. btu the pastor just (he doesnt knwo me) really..he said i prayed last night and the lord wants me to gie word to the following ppl.. and I was first on the list. he said NICK du nrun away..the LOrd wants u to know that he hears u. even when u think he doesnt that eveyr prayer u make are thunders in the heavens and he delights in them.. he hears u..he wil lgive u the ans u re searchin for when the tiem is right..HE wants u to kee pasking. and i was taken aback.. the pastor asked is ther a nic kard.. yeah thats wad god want me to say..

i was jsut feeli nthatway i nthe mornin. .i jsut said hais i m feeli nshitty today so much work..i du nfeel liek prayin no meanin my heart is not at peace.. and i just balh blah something amen.. more like utterin under my breath..and the i said yeah whatever..i know exactly what answer the pastor was talkin abt that GOd didnt want to give me yet. i shal lbe patient. yeah but the incident too kme by surprose..alter on were lectures..yeah pastor victor was really interestin..he is a really intelligent man.. and i feel really happy listenin to what he has t osay.. btu yeah i guess ireall yhave short attn span..

there was this part abt generation curse and so on..why i nsome fam many suffer from the same things.. ok the disease and inheritancepart.. he say spoke abt curses that last for 3 to 4 generations whule blessings go for a thousand yrs..= consequence of sins.. he say we should have a fam lienand see what has happen i no ur fam.. and fro mthere we can discover many inquities..sins that w e dunno of ourselves..hmm it was pretty interestin.. i thin k alto abt what i study.. eyah that hapens in genetic diseases eventualli theyare lost in a few generations btu he went on to say thigns liek sudden death accidents dying young.. unpleasant encounters acan ru ni nteh fam.. abusive parents abusive children.. molested paretns molested children by other ppl.... hmm i jsut didnt buy it cos it sounds almost superstitious.. a curse can mean a family havin their children dyin young of accidents for generation..i dunno i htin kaccidents are accidents..nto curses..i dunno it was a bit uncomfortable..

later the camp had a lot of stuff liek the crossin video agn..symbolic stuff mostly and more worship renouncing the sins at the cross..the last day whic hwas today tho.. was abt the HOLY spirit.. whic hspoke to me in p2.. i always knew it. and with the sprinkling of olive oil and the bringing of me to the ground..i asked for tongues..but well i dunno i du ndare speak la...tho ifeel a small small urge. but as i was lying donw. .the holy spirit revealed many things to me.. its true. it was all abt the past..it went back as far as nursery.. the little policeman toy car.. i saw my whole life palyed b4 me.. even small details i never paid attn to i tht i forgot...they came back.. the holy spirit pointed me to many reasons y i m the way i m today.. ihave many meories in my head which i knwo i have forved myself to edit to forget..but the HOLy spirit shown me everyday.. icould be dead oi tht cos i saw my entire life fkash past me so vividly. i think i havent totally recovered fro mit now. i saw many embarassing moments..
the nursery girl who i liked who first kissed me.. sheesh was so long ago..
i saw many embarassing moments..many happy moments..that i was often hapyp for the wrogn reason..many angry moments..every timethat i hurt my mum and how my mum covered up for me.. teh many many liesi told. the time i shoplfted..stole..collected money b helpin my frens do their work..i saw all my angriest moments.. wit hthe 13th story girl ..wit hteh big bird..with .. i saw the ugly side in me..unfortunately even the many girls i dated casaualy.. isaw how wrogn my life was.. and i saw how many stupid things i said...and i realised that when i said or did the things i did then was becosi saw no other way out.. i was always feeli so trapped..i fouhgt hard to snap out of it..to be honest i m stil la bit i nshock now. i just hugged my mum really tight yeah.

yeah ok i fail to organise my thts..wil ltryagain.
encounter was held i nsheares hall! how nice to stay there..i really want to..we had our own rooms. yeah pretty place. i m gonna study really hard.
and be a gd doc. haha.

i met huiqing. .she staysi nt he hall studies law..busy with rag.. haha she ask me to take part i nrag.. saysi look liek i can dance!!! sheesh..haha then i reminded her that she was triton queen.
yah we chatted for qutie long haha she promised to pull me into sheares if osa accepts me and then i must dance for rag..lol cool. i just wanna stay i nnus compounds doesnt matter where but sheares or kent ridge be nice haha. i ve decided that i ll get a mac.. the ni can be an APPLE guy. she said she wil lhelp me config and teach me how to use etc..so nice.

there was a yr 5 med student i nencounter camp.
he was from rj..he gave me various interestin revelations haha he welcomed me and congratulate me on getti nint omed..he told me that i must be feeli nreally high now..which is true..he said well hope u really have the passion its the oni way to keep u goi nfor 5 yrs.. hahaother wise teh bond wil lkeep u in too but he said the high wil lsustai nu for two yrs.. u can feel really great abt urself..habtu it will wear off. like every prestigious course.. eh says he is readi nup on finance now...med students oni knwo abt med.. ha ignorant abt much of the world. .i guesshe coudl be right. of cos he would know. he said we have all be conned in this system.. i njc we were all told to do well adn get itn omed..the future is there..or esle go get a schoalraship go serve. .be a safos..haha and whe nu cant make it u thin kt he world coems crazhin down..but the real money out there the real stuff is i n investments banking.. thigns liek citibanks schoalrships starti npay 8k... bein a doc wil learn u a more than a stabel pay it be a comfortabel pay..but it wun be an extravagant pay.. of cos its really fulfillin yeah med u ll earn abt 7k to 10 k a mth.. poof.. thats just comfortable.. i would thin kthats extravagant alr.. my dad takes home less than 2k a mth..to be exact 1.5 k a mth.. by givin tuitio ni can alr earn much mroe than him in a mth..
i never dreamed of earnin more than 2k.. i dare nto think wad kind of life that might be .cos materialistically i m mroe than satisfied now ..i m contented i always believe i have wad i need. i believed if i were born in a rich environment settin i wun be near where i m today. i may be negligent in my studies.. so PRaise the LORD always. btu yeah many of the things he said were rather disturbing.. so yeah it was a true encounter.. i heard many things..but i cant qualify and wouldnt make judgement. i l ljsut have to pray harder.

till then.
i wanna follow Jesus. no turning back.
http://www.medicus.tk/

the kiss of I would understand. at 8:05 AM .

there is some sort of associated theme with colours and alphabets. like why? why? for sci fi themes u think of cool blue metallic colours and the letters X.. for entertainment old vintage its alwasy Brown and the letter J the curvier letters..hmm why? haha ok i m jsut totemo tsumaranai.

but i m happy.. sigh i feel like i m trapped in an air palne.. my ears and nose are blocked.. argh can barely breathed.. i ve done 5 Amaths papers in the last two days.. burnin out. . im super slow now. .lol.

yeahbut then u knwo i m really smiling.. for all u know i should be waitin under a fan now .talkin to myself ..pretendin to fall aslp.. changin in and out of dirty uniform.. fallin in rushin 4 storeys to drink a bottle of water.. walkin in steps in formations without knowin y.. stayin awake to prowl palces i have no feelin for.. yeah it could be much worse..

i watched a lot of vcd..i wated 50 first dates.. i thin kits a really sweet movie.. oh man.. haha adam sandler is always this super nice guy i nall his movies.. haha but yeah so sweet haha everyday is a first kiss eh.. nto bad ah..in the movie drew barrymore had a car accident she suffers form a symptom where she wakes up ever mornin forgettin wad happened the day b4.. her oni memoryt are those before the accident..her short term memory lasts one day..so tho the accident was a few yrs ago.. it feels like yesterday to her every day.. haha so she had an accident a she was abt t opick pineapples.. os everyday she hinks sheis goin to pick pineapples.. and her fam well to avoid frightenin her ..makes everyday the same.. the yset the clock and the dates and bht many copies of that day;s newspaper for her for so many yrs..haha but adam sandler is in love with her..as he watches her one day...

so he makes her keep a journal and record the day's event and lets her learn the horrible truth.. so eveyrmorni nshe watches a vidoeo which tells her wad she did the day b4.. she reads her diary eveyrday..its like wakin up and oh i m a mother alr.. oh i werk as a wad now.. oh i m on vactaio nnow.. everymornin u need sometime to figure out where u stand literally.. lol but yeah its really a sweet funny movie.. haha everyday bein kissed by ur husband is ur first kiss cos u cant rmb kissin him the day b4.. haha..

cool i wish to wake up everyday and be remindedthat haha i dunno.

the kiss of I would understand. at 6:54 AM .

church camp picts.. haha picts of my groups network cell mates and friends. and of cos myself lol stolen fro m MR. kenny of cos..

i m guilty of bein vain. of feeli nlike a celeb constantly.. darn..my mum is really proud of me now.. news have spread realyl fast..and i tht my blog would be private i jsut realised its linked to council hmm..interesting..

oh no tsk tsk..i mustn be vain. but i m happy yeah..mroe congratulations more praises for gettin into med.. a bit of bitterness tho i heard fro mmy mum someone was really qutie unfriendly hmm sensitive..but yeahi hope i do well. really. i hope so.. its gonan be tough with the next 11 years of my life laid down and planned. i hope i go far. yeah..GOD wil lbe there for me. as always. =)

but i m happy.
do u understand the gravity of these words. my mail box i s flooded but i m happy

i ran out of breath today but i m happy

i didnt get t oswim but i m happy

i took 7 hours to do two a maths paper but i m happy

my face is ful lof acne but i m happy

my nose is getti nbig and out of chape but i m happy..

whee.. haha i m havign a dream job man paid to do maths.. how many ppl can say the yare paid to do maths besides cashiers..lol but yeah i suck now la i m quite slow now. a bit rusty..my face has mroe pop pop .. argh courtesy of army life.. nah du nblame army i jsut have LOusy personal hygiene..yikes how to be isha? lol mai lbox i flooded with med students emails.. got a list of boosk to buy even text books.. hahai m so excited ya know.. and everything is jsut laggin. .my msn ..i hm havi nchurch osngs sent to me.. argh connection is pretty slow..yeah nvm flavian wil lburn for me soon i hope.. he stil lowes me my shirt! and pants!

funny .. ithink its funnie to read clothing with an exclamation mark..

haha i m still delirious.. went out to sing K box with CANdice..got really high at the one night in beijing song lol..yeah today was fun..

sigh i hate to sleep one day i ll suffer from chronic sleep deprivation but till then.. darn why does sleep have t ohold evolutionary importances..

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:28 AM .

so cute. I am really loved. lookin forward to encounter. yeah tho there be no outdoro at all. sounds liek a really serious thing.

oh no parents are sleepi nand i am typin noisily. so inconsiderate but i really keep thinkin abt my blgo leh. dunno y ..i am startin to talk to myself and imaginin myself bloggin eveyrnow and then. maybe i am schizo. hahha not like they can tell in todays med examination.

thanks to zaid i have the whole cranberries album now. yeah i ve always wanted. ok i have alot to than kthe LORD for. my bro is totalyl escited abt churc hleh. i mean he learnt everyone;s names alr. sheesh u know i took two months to know who sky was. in fact iwasnt even sure the ywere referin to someone when they kept sayi nsky.. hahah yeah but i was really unenthusiastic. truth is i oni knew kenneth's name b4 the cmap the rest i was jsut smilin smilin be deh ard..ha yeah but i m happy for my bro. he said he thinks he like my cell lol.

oh news spread really fast. everyone is congratulatin me on my civilian hood.. haha thanks to my gay kiss- ur- pink photo. courtesy of myself like duh i took it myself.. ewww..hmm quite a number of pp lread my blog. i was on the way to have dinner with my new boss on the trai nwhen this cute girl came u pto me and said "oh i heard u got into med, congrats!" shook my hand and winked i had no idea wh oshe was..i thin ki know who she is but i really have no idea..haha gasp. my heart kinda raced oh well nto realyl i have superman;s heart beat rmb?

i m really vain. sheesh
lol the nurses at the medical centre said i was goi nto be a really cute charmin doctor..ahha when all i did was complai nthat i wil ltake a logn time to pee so i wil ltake forever for that urine test. haa cos i jsut peeed... lol yeah i guess ireally drew too much attn to myself. and then my boss told me that last tiem when i was at his centre there e had this girl who kept askin him what days i was ard and she wanted t ocme for tuition oni o nthe days i was ard haha cos she tht i was cute.. haha iwas never spoken to anyone b4.. he told me then cos of that a guy who liked her left the tuition centre haha say he stress alr.. ?!!! nonsense right..oh no but i ate a lot today.. ae for 5 hours;. at clarke quay food is pretty good. yeah
so my firstr weekday of civilian hood was spent med checkup adn dinner with boss.. ooh i went swimmin too at tamp the new pool..

i cant swim fast alr.. tire easiyl i feel i dunno and my legs hurt. .the same injury..sigh i du nthin ki can join swimmin i will just try.. its sad. yeah but i believe! so i wun worry. haha i msuper high now. tamp pool is really specia lto me .. i learnt swimmi nthere! its a vibrant place.. so many languages and voices of all ages lingerin in the air ..so many conversations.. bro and sis swimin bf and gf husbands and wives families army frens. . ucan hear a million conversations.. oops ok i didnt mean to eaves drop of course.. haha maybe i should swim everyday now. .ahah hope i got the determination of cos..

eyah i m realyl grateful i got this new temp job.. haha cos i foreseei mgonna spend a bit . .but it means less time to spend with friends.. sheesh.. haha but i caught up with quite a lto of pp ltoday. .esp via sms very long never msg so many ppl simultaneously like 8 9 ppl..and i have many outings planned alr.. gonna K box TOMOLO!! yeah with candice.

too kthe opportunity t o et many med students contacts and chat iup with them make frens think the ywil lcome in useful..for most rj ppl it aint much cos they are liek just goi nback to rj same old faces.. but for me i guess its impt.. yeap. had a long chat with eileen th oshe was in camp..yup i hope to see all the vj ppl agn!

hahau have the pulserate of superman. the nurse told me. my pulse was 44 beats per min today. a bit more excited than usual..haha i du nthin ki ru n alot leh. .but oh well cool. maybe i m jsut a lagger. even my heart lags when its beatin..

i have decided i will get a MAC lap top =) its more asthetically pleasin and its different! so yeah..

the world is so beautiful sometimes it feels ugly. and when its ugly therein lies its beauty. there are many things we du nunderstand and we say that higher powers wil lprotect us. we try to make sense of things but we are told its beyond us. but its ok. ignorance is bliss. i would rather not know everything and believe. cos even if i knew everything. ther eis oni one path.

yeah..is that what i really feel.. hmm touch ur heart.

a little bird in the sky.
u look up and it shits in ur eye
u thank the Lord anyway
that cows dun fly.

positive thinking

hahai saw this is the office od the doc i consulted he was a ery nice fatherly old man. he had his chldren's photos all over his cupboard. he kept shakin my hand congratulatiin me.. tell me congrats i m very healthy he hoeps to werk with me soo none day.. its really a nice feelin

but must i be a yumeina isha then u will rmb me.. am i so forgettable?
wakaranai. demo..i dun want to necessary be a yumeina isha.
iwanna be a nice young charming doctor. i wanna go africa. =0

the kiss of I would understand. at 9:20 AM .

coming closer to u.
i am coming i m coming..

this is me. once again steppin into the tunnel. the expressway the railway.
it seems liek i can finally rest my head or somethign real i like the way that feels.

DAY one of back to civilian was spent makin money. and blowing them twice over. went out with kay..met alot of ppl.. familiar faces..ah ya's class amtes some yr ones, chia ying, d, crispina and the 1 guards ppl! haha oh well the last one was intentional.. go suan ppl with my pink ic at tCC i m such a meanie.
c
rispina was with a bunch of physics olympiad medalist hah on outing.. haha but they all look like ... yeah anw she was reallly hyper as usual..even my fren commented. haha

and i went to do more retail therapy..shucks. bht two nice shirts.. i m stil lquite high..

but signs of conflict have alr aroused. i dunno the world seems to love us more when we are away from them.

ok i oni have two weeks b4 sch starts actuali
my itunes is on random mode and it is playin the old jay chou album as i chat with sara abt how nice the immersion days were..yeah i used to listen to this album 24/7..ha we were talkin abt world cup and supportin germany..

alright in this two weeks i wanna accomplish alot . i wanna grip so tightly onto this two weeks. cos third week is camp alr.

i wanna take care of personal hygiene haha eeyer..my skin is in bad shape.. hha too heck care in camp.

i wanna needa get a tan get fit start some secret trg..of some form.. haha so secretive that i may not even do ath abt eventualli lol

i wanna go on a holiday spend some money watch some movies.. but think its not possible .and money well..im kinda cringing alr..

i wanna catch up on studies.. mug my alevel s abit so i du nfee lliek a total empty shell i n uni..

i wanna catch up with alot of ppl..on and offline.
1st has to be see cheong.
and then sec sch frens.. all of them. the clique and the close frens..
hmm and then some of my classmates
and then miscellaneous..platoon mates. and so on..on my phone list.

i dunno btu going uni is this whole special feelin liek u are there at last.
its like ineed to tsay some goodbyes but not totally like bye..

bye.

the kiss of I would understand. at 8:32 AM .