Monday, June 19, 2006
we all liek to rmb special dates. birthdates.. dates of significance. often celebrations.
departures? i dunno ppl dun liek to rmb them. get them over with i guess. btu wads realyl significant to me are days like this. i cant behave. i mean i guess i suck at farewells. i always feel liek a statue. a choking being with so much left to say. so afraid i m not behaving appropriately.. am i conscious yeah maybe i m a self conscious guy haha but anyhow i dunno.
so today was teh last day for me in SI. like how i loved the saying time heals everything. MOVE on.. lookin back is for losers.. u know..
flashback.. i guess entering SI was really sth..and oh how i dreaded the mugging the marching .. i couldnt wait for the day i was no longer trainee..no need to stand by bed and all that military trainess jargon crap and rubbish,.i hatedf bein barked at eveyrday.. and when i firs tlooked at my bunkmates. u start t oponder things like y m i here? issis cos im m smart? cos i m injured cos i slacked? cos im not fit? cos this cos that u try to find expalnations to lame things. now lame is the absolute right word bcos thats wad it is.. cos it makes no sense to thin ksuch thts but i guess its huamn nature to wonder y we are associated why we are in a certain say class?
and i tht abt the church sermon.. do nto worry its useless. by that i do not mean not palnnin for the future of cos u must take RESPONSIBILITY.. u must werk hard study hard. btu as far as things like the weather things that u cannot control are concerned DONT WORRY.. cos u cant change them anyway.. i wonder how i ll feel if i could not get into med.. will i be so strong? wil li say hmm maybe its just not my path there are better pastures out there for me.. i think i ll. yeap i ll. there are things u can werk hard for and u ought to get it ..like ur results.. getting 4As these are things everyone can achieve if they take certain steps.. but other things like uni admissions landing a particular job vocation promotion i guess these are things u cant ctrl.. and ppl as well.. u want to be popular but sometimes ua re nto meant to be.. ther eis no such thing as workin ppl bendin them round the corners for urselves
and so now i stand..departed. last day of SI.. i m chokin with words and thts.. hat every small action is unlockin a million thts in me.. yeah i ll miss everyonealot.. alot.. but its time to go.. yeah i cant wait to move on.. life has been rather stagnant.. anticipation.. i m lookin forward to life alr..perhaps on a later date i ll resaalyl miss my SI days btu for now i m good.. i guess the cycle is always the same.. in jc or sec 4 i couldnt wait for sch to be over exmas to be over....and so on see..i didnt miss VJ immediately i was happy to graduate.. but then when u re somewhere else u miss it a hell lot..
i ll miss the SI dudes no doubt. but i cant wait to movce on.. i pray to have nice reasonable commanders.. i pray i ll be motivated to excel no matter wad.. that i ll ve strength to carry out any task. that ill not seek short cuts and if there is sth meant for me to learn i ll do it with my heart.. darn i should be a poet i feel so rhytmical..if there was sucha word.. FOS.
i guess my ns buddies u knwo they say there wil lbe thsoe u keep for a life time liek my dad and his buddy i thk my buddies will come from ns.. in my bm t there was so much competitionand fakeness cos evryone was competin for a palce at ocs..for attn...everyone needed a shoutout!
but then again i m realyl lousy at keepin in touch with ppl..really. i often just lose frens along the way. but lettin go is wad life is abt no? life is made of big let goes..
speakin of corners..
world cup! i m so proud of korea..ok i ll support asian teams no matter wad.. i mproud of my beloved NIPPOn too haha,,i m so proud to be asian k..hais but not much fever..i hope brazil wins!
i wanna thank everyone for believin in me.. for bein such dear buddies.. i thin ki realyl hog the limelight..sheesh i m so popular.. haha. right tsk tsk
but yeah when i first stepped into SI and church i felt crazy and anti social.. i will rmb eugene in particular.. cos he was so humble and so willin to make frens with me. i bet i sucked at first i always pulled a logn face.. sorry dudes..i didnt want to make frens at first.. dunn oi was stupid or wad..and at first i found kaymeng irritating and weizhe a bug show off..haha i tht zhi yong was the oni nice guy..haha eyah that was in the beginning but thanks so much man u guys i wouldn be abel to pull thru without u guys.. i tht i was a lousy person u know i was convinced my bmt mates hated me and i was not good in a grp of guys.. btu u guys make me feel loved lol.. i hope we stay i ntouch
the goat.. tryin to see the best in ppl is not easy. u need to have a big heart. he is actuali a gd dude i think its just yeah..anw i m really thankful for all teh lifts he has been giving me haha i like his mum;s car and the music..eyah its nice.. u know i havent sat i na vehicle or car in a long time.. i mean my fam dun own one and yeah i m realyl thankful. i wish he will speak nicely to his mum. his mum really dotes on him.. of cos all mothers do..there should be two mothers day..fathers..sigh. no comments. yeah but i guess that was the alst tiem i took a lift from him.. he is a harmless dude realyl but i hope he gets to see more of teh world really. .it wil ldo him good.
walk out of ur well . GOD gave me legs.. i wanna go runnin all of a sudden
btu i m realyl hungry.
the kiss of I would understand. at