Tuesday, March 14, 2006
alone.
a scary word. every dimension of it. but even scarier when u re alone and have no dreams.
when u need to pass each day with no magnetics for it.
tunnel followed by rover rovers followed by tunnels.
can feel the deep dread in me. as i peer out of the window. pasirirs the place of book in. the roads are always fileld with army vehicles. nv meant a thing to me
not until today.
yeap its block leave and its alr tues. that sinkin feelin is all around.
medicine . havent apply yet. its the oni dream i have now. the oni reason why each day there is stil lsth to look forward to.
thsi pendulum state of eing is driving me nuts.
slipin consciously and unconscioulsy into the past and maybe future.
having lots of flashbacks lately
if when u die ur life flashes past u, this is how mine wiuld look liek up till now.
the police man toy car on the floor.
the canteen stairs to the hall
the underpass the newly constructed flat
the first "business" in my pasir ris home
the illegal t shirt business
pushin of trolleys
the new canteed stairs pyramid roof
the faces ard me the bullies the hated chn tcha the malay clique of mine.
the catchin we play all the tiem the punishement in the sun the tcha who called me a black sheepo the hated social studies tcha th oni 7 to make it to em1 the oni two who got into gep. the girl who sat infront of me thegirl who icallvery night jsut to put down the phone. the girl wh obecame les the old old cross country tcha sleepin with a singh the chinese speakin weird frens. thechn speakin best frens the language centre! the vending machine rthe twenty vs guys the fujimoto the rgs gals who i avoided the oni few vs ppl left after streamin. the beloved lc sahara desert the 430 to 630 lessons the canteed the bustop to wait for 53 the walk to the inter change the blue uniform the jap tip the german takin frens the basketball games the weird dance tcah the chorir chairman. the carpet the third wth floro the library the stinki nsecitonals outside the toilet.
the jap trip the bg house the rich jap ppl the jap gals the gal i wantto kiss the colourful balzers fuji mountain the korean gal called gy the koreamn cclass the short chn high pants i laugh at the ahs gal the new class the gal in green the tkgs gal the very very special gal who i m goin to let down who is oin to saeve me the gal whose logn hair didnt suit her the gal who looked much better wit hshort hair. lol the prom photo the clippi nof the tunert o my throat the noisy bus rides. hte numebr of time s more i wanna talk to her. the girl who i let down eventullai the trp to rj the serangoon gaardens i visit th e npss oic the gal whose msg i kept every single one of the gal who rejected me all the time the gal weho is m y best fren the neighbourhood sch gal who loved comics the gla who played the guitar the gal tfrm cedar checkoslavia the firs tbadminton game the first b dae card the ecams the social studies paper th e triton the orientattion the swimin booth th eproud ppl the oni vs guy the guy who was afraid of me the guy who transferred jc the freakin voodoo gal the vs frens who stayed with mi foreva the big yellow tag the dances the dirty water the endless hours int hte water. the gal's best fren the thailand trip the piggy nose the yellow seats the three stooges the band aka ben of brothers the really balck guy with a black face the stressful days pourin over stacks of paper the sentosa trips marche and neoprints ...
the green uniform the island the W sign the cast crutches the obstacles the pain the inability to swim the rock band environment the girl i want to marry. beneath the facade.
the overrated life
the kiss of I would understand. at