Thursday, March 16, 2006
well before that. i swam today. spiderman. swam lessthan hahanvm. another painful day. painfully boring. heartache as today slips away. ok its 12 so it has slipped away. two reasons one co it means i have to be mr military again 2 another day. well i maplplyin for ntu too. yeap.
dun hide away. dun cover ur face. oh treeyard.
Describe a person who has had an influence in you, and share with us why and/or how it has influenced you.
I would like to think that I have been through a lot in life. However that would be foolish. I have always been very competitive, still am. I subscribed to the belief that winning means everything. It meant respect, friends and admiration. I was competitive fiercely competitive and eager to excel in my grades. I wanted to be the talk of everybody; the Mr. talented.
Sometimes that gets in the way greatly, on most days I feel inferior insignificant, I begin to believe there is nothing important in life; to belittle every blessing I have. Sure, the world still cheers you on.
When I was in secondary 4, I felt lost and despair. My grades were slipping initially. I wasn’t the top student anymore. Certain “friends” had betrayed my trust. I thought I might be on my way to self destruction. She came along. A new classmate in my Japanese class. She happened to take the same bus home with me. I was weary and wary of making new friends, mostly dreading the need to impress people. Fortunately she was really nice friendly and unassuming. I felt really comfortable with her. We could talk about anything under the sun do all sorts of funny things on the bus 53 that would make the eyes of other passengers roll. Taking bus and having meals with her was my therapeutic sessions (almost) I felt normal again.
Of course through it all, the thoughts that race through my, if not all our minds are mostly hidden behind a mask, cleverly concealed. Otherwise the mental hospital could be quite filled with people. She was one of the key reason I knew where I want to go after O levels.
She introduced a new world to me. She was actively involved in community work. Absolutely compassionate, feeling for others was second nature to her. Following her around homes of the juvenile delinquents, physically and mentally disabled, I came out of my well. I learnt to feel for others. More importantly I gradually realized how fortunate and blessed I truly am. I was hungry to help out, secretly yearning to be like her, I wanted to increasingly participate in more community work. Inspired.
She was more than a normal friend. Present tense. I have been a person without faith; who sniggers at people who believed in God. I thought they were weak that’s why they needed to believe in a higher power. I thought God could be a joker tormenting vast populations of people.
She promised to prove me wrong. I think she has. An unfortunate incident happened to me within the first three weeks of my BMT. I, as usual, eager to impress, injured my leg during an SOC training session. I couldn’t walk and had to use crutches to support myself. I felt shattered. My dream of excelling going to command school seemed light years away. I thought I may be OOTED or recourse. But she advised me to pray. Faith. A really suspicious word to me. Nevertheless I pray. I prayed for my family prayed for my friends to still be around for me. After two weeks I could do route march and after a month I was prepared for IPPT. I am convinced that god can work miracles now and I am truly blessed. Victory takes place on many fronts. I never thought I would find mine this way.
Life would probably be very different without her. I can see her shrugging her shoulders maybe even blushing should she read this. Nevertheless. I am thankful she entered my life. I hope she stays. =)
the kiss of I would understand. at